Time is a social construct

     I do not believe in linear time, because time is not linear. This is a man-made construct that was made to make us understand things in life and life itself easier. But it is completely wrong. 
    There is only the present moment and everything evolves around it as a spiral, you can experience déja vu and it's becuase you have truly been in this very moment before.
    As time is not linear, neither is healing. It is a process but so much more complex than just a straight line. As well as grieving, that is also not linear. It comes in waves and takes up your whole existence.
    You know it's hard for me to watch the people I love suffer, I guess this is (hopefully) the case for all of us but there is just something inside me that wants to make everything right. All the time. 
    And it's really really hard for me to unlearn this. I am a Virgo rising and the oldest daughter after all, as my brother would say -  a different breed. 
    I feel deeply responsible for not only my own wellbeing but also for the wellbeing of those I love. And it breaks my heart to admit that I am aware I am not always able to help. But a simple act of holding space for each other, just being here for each other is crucial. Sometimes less is more, as my dad says.
    And sometimes, time is the weirdest thing ever, how silly of me to think I have my future figured out?
    And how silly of me to think I have full closure on everything I have been through in the past?
    I think I am just trying to understand, as one usually does, and putting this into words and writing it down is some sort of therapeutic sorting of my own thoughts.